Entrepreneur – Vickie, how long were you in business before hiring your husband?

Vickie – I started my company part-time in 1982 and was working full-time for myself by 1983. Tom joined the business in 1992.

Entrepreneur – Why did you hire your husband as your first employee and what were your initial thoughts on his responsibilities?

Vickie – Before I ever thought of hiring Tom, he eased his way into the business. He started taking his laptop on our trips, and I found myself asking him to type things for me when I was in a hurry. He's a fast typist, and I don't type at all. His work on these small projects helped me appreciate what a good writer he is. Collaborating further just seemed natural. I could always depend on him, and he worked at a high level very rapidly. We each bring different, complementary skills and strengths to a project. Before I knew it, I was keeping him extremely busy during his free time. I had plenty of positive experiences working with him to convince me he'd be a great asset to my company. Tom is so multi-talented, I knew we'd benefit more if he used his talents for my business rather than the firm he was with.

Entrepreneur – Tom, what were your thoughts when your wife asked you to work for her?

Tom – As she said, I'd been working for her anyway, each morning before work, on my lunch hour, evenings and on weekends. I figured I'd get more time off working for her full-time than working two jobs.

At first I was scared to death. I had a successful career as a corporate attorney with a growing company. I'd become addicted to a steady paycheck – one that didn't depend on how well the business did or whether I was sick. Vickie had made a very good living for 10 years, but joining her company was still leaping into the unknown for me. However, we predicted we'd be able to replace my salary through growth, and we surpassed that goal the first year!

Entrepreneur – Vickie, why didn't you make him a part-owner?

Vickie – My company was 10 years old before I hired Tom. It's clearly my vision and my voice. I'm passionate about growing the business. Tom is passionate about working inside the business. He's not at all interested in managing and running a company. He would never want to be CEO, COO or any other type of O. This decision works well for us. A marriage is challenging enough without adding the constant need to negotiate business issues.

Entrepreneur – How do other new employees respond when they learn that Tom is your husband?

Vickie – We always tell them before the hiring offer is made. I polled my office about what they first thought when they heard that Tom worked for me. The comments included:

1. "Because Vickie and Tom have different last names, I felt they were independent and did their own thing within the company. Also, I figured they wouldn't still be in business if they couldn't work together as a team."
2. "I was very nervous because I had a prior bad experience working for a husband and wife team."
3. "I came from a company where I worked with my husband and several other family members. So I knew it worked."

Entrepreneur – What do you need to be careful about because of employee feelings about this working situation?

Vickie – Maintaining confidentiality – This includes not discussing confidential employee issues with Tom, but also not involving employees in our private business.

Avoiding the perception of favoritism – Tom really doesn't play by all the same rules, but when necessary he catches the same hell as everybody else. Sometimes other people know Tom is catching it. I need to be more careful with this.

Entrepreneur – How do you avoid uncomfortable situations that working together could cause?

Vickie – Everyone likes to be able to go home and vent. Being Italian, I often don't wait THAT long. So I joined a group called The Executive Committee (TEC), an organization of 12 CEOs that meets monthly to work through business challenges. They and my business advisor are great sources of support. Often I need to discuss issues with other people in leadership positions. Sharing these confidential issues is a key to my survival as a CEO.

Entrepreneur – How has your husband's role in your business changed since you hired him?

Vickie – Tom's role has become more specialized as the company grows. I no longer have to rely solely on him. As a result, I'm better able to use his unique skills. He's now one of our primary writers and speakers. The Certified Legal Nurse Consultants^CM (mostly women) love him. He handles our general legal matters and is in charge of information technology. Plus, being on the "inside" for 10 years has given him a knowledge of the company that newcomers don't have. He helps to create our office culture and to uphold the values and high standards we built together.

Entrepreneur – What is the number one challenge you face in working together?

Vickie – Separating my CEO role from my wife role. I'm a natural leader and manager. Yet just because I have final decision-making power as CEO of Vickie Milazzo Institute doesn't mean I should make all the decisions we face as a couple. At the end of the day I have to remind myself to take off my CEO hat, have fun and be Tom's wife and best friend. We're both guilty of bringing the company home with us, so we have a tradition of invoking the "B-Rule." That means it's time to stop talking "Business" so we can enjoy being husband and wife. Whoever breaks the rule pays a $1 fine. I use my winnings for weekly massages. Tom's saving his for a pack of gum.

Tom – Number one is forgetting that at work there's a boss-employee relationship. I have a tendency to argue with her or express opinions in ways that I would never have done as a corporate attorney.

Once, we got into such a heated argument (probably over something unimportant) that I went on strike. At the time I was the only employee. Having 100% of the workforce off the job cramped productivity. Management, to its credit, didn't stage a lock-out. After some serious negotiations we settled the issue, and I got back to work that same day. Of course, the company now has a "no strike" policy.

The other challenge relates to growth. As the company has grown, so has the infrastructure. When there were fewer employees, I felt "in the know" about the whole company. Now, I'm more focused on my own job functions and somewhat isolated from the big picture. I often hear about decisions after they've been made, which sometimes makes me feel out of the loop. It's different from the early days.

Entrepreneur – What is the best part about working together?

Vickie – Getting to really share the whole experience. We both enjoy our prosperous lifestyle. We have a lot of common hobbies – hiking, biking, traveling – and we are now able to take off 10 weeks per year together. How many couples get to do that in the prime of their lives? Also, because we're both involved in the business, I never feel Tom doesn't understand my passion and commitment to it. He's been my biggest fan and cheerleader, supporting my career dreams 100%. We're always there for each other, and with his intelligence and sense of humor, we've laughed our way through every possible problem – both business and personal.

Tom – The best part is working toward joint goals. Every bit of effort can result in a positive return for us, and a direct effect on our pocketbooks you don't see working for someone else. I don't mind putting in longer hours, extra effort, when we see the benefits.

My favorite benefit has been getting to travel together. Now, with cell phones and our VPN we have great flexibility. Anywhere we go, we can stay in touch and connected. Plus, having employees allows us to disconnect and go to Vietnam, Cambodia, Morocco, Patagonia, Nepal, Tanzania – all places we could never have visited if the business was still the two of us. And we can stay away longer and travel more often than if I worked for another corporation.

Entrepreneur – What is the most surprising, challenging or strange thing you have discovered?

Vickie – When I began as a solo consultant, my only education in business or entrepreneurship was the real-world laboratory. The biggest surprise of hiring my husband was that he became my guinea pig as I learned the art of being a CEO. For better or worse, every mistake I've made has affected the person I love the most. Thankfully, he's a willing guinea pig.

We've been through a lot together. Most days we both feel like we're trying to cross a street with traffic bearing down on us from eight different directions, like it does in Rome or Saigon. We're learning that crossing that chaotic street is not a problem, but a dance if we move confidently, slowly and calmly together. We don't always dance gracefully, but we have no fear of plunging into the chaos, knowing we at least get to dance together.

Tom – When we began working together, we were shipping, receiving, janitorial, financial and all the other departments rolled into two people. We worked literally back-to-back in our first home, our chair-backs touching. If one of us had to get up, the other had to pull up close to their desk.

Each morning we had to unpack our offices and spread throughout the house the materials we were shipping to customers. Then, at the end of each day we'd pack it and stack it all back into the office, vacuum the living areas and shut down. Sometimes we could barely get the office door shut! Once we were so caught up in our work that we forgot some food cooking on the stove. We spent two hours late at night cleaning the kitchen after the "explosion."

After three years in these conditions we finally leased office space. We've worked all hours together in all sorts of places and always gotten on well. We know we can depend on one another, and that relieves some of the stress. Many people say, "I couldn't work with my spouse – we'd kill each other." But after running a household together, business seems easy!

Entrepreneur – What advice would you give other couples contemplating this kind of working relationship?

Vickie – Don't be afraid to wear your CEO hat at the office. His peers at work will respect him and you more if he plays by the same rules as everyone else. If possible, set it up so that you don't directly supervise your husband. Your working relationship will be easier and more fun if there's a management layer between you. This will eliminate the stresses of managing your spouse day-to-day. This one step has helped us maintain both our marriage and our working relationship.

Recognize that while he might be willing to do anything for you and your business, he'll be a lot happier if you let him play to his strengths. He needs to be challenged so you both can keep growing, not only professionally but, more importantly, as a couple.

Lastly, always remember that the business is your passion – but that doesn't mean it has to be his. Let go of it frequently and invite him to do the same. When you do forget and bring up a company issue on the way home from a movie or at your anniversary dinner and he doesn't seem interested, remember, he's a gift, not a business asset. You also have to support him in his passions. Tom is working on a book during his free time, and now I'm taking my turn supporting him as he pursues his passion.

Tom – First, ask yourself, "Can I work for her?" My parents always shared all the household responsibilities so I didn't grow up with job-gender predilections. That upbringing helps more than anything. When you run your own business, you have to do everything. You can't feel that some task is beneath you or not in your job description. Running a household is like running a business. If you have children, you've already seen each other's management skills. But you need to be able to take orders (sometimes).

Also, you have to make sure the job fulfills your own needs. There's nothing worse than being unhappy at your job and feeling trapped because of family obligations. An unhappy employee – family member or not – is not an asset to a company. We periodically check in with each other to make sure that our business relationship still works well for both of us.

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